Thea has an enduring interest in names. She knows the name of the postman (both her own and ours), the Tesco delivery man, the bin man, the waitress at the local cafe and, since, Sunday, the names of the Italian waiters at L’Artista in Letchworth.
I am ashamed to admit that Dan and I have been eating at L’Artista for almost two decades and we know the names of just three people who work there – Roberto, Adam and Daniele. As Thea asked her question there was initial puzzlement, followed by surprise and subsequently delight. I was struck by how sharing something as personal as your name with an interested stranger changes the dynamic of the exchange between you. Suddenly and all at once, Moussa and Nino and Nick became more than just familiar faces in a public space.
Thanks to our four-year-old granddaughter, we now know the names of not only the waiters at L’Artista, but also of the chef and the barman (Francesco and Gerardo). There’s even a Thea who works there. Unfortunately Sunday is her day off.
Two-year-old Lyla has begun to imitate her sister. If a stranger catches her interest, she will often ask ‘What’s her name?’
Our names are important. They are given to us by our parents and they belong to us throughout our lives. And beyond.
Thea and Lyla have a great many relatives – aunts, uncles and cousins, across three generations. Thea can tell you all their names and assemble them in the correct family group. She also knows the names of my parents and grandparents/her great and great-great grandparents.
In February 2011, The Ancestor Effect by Professor Peter Fischer was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology. Fischer proposed that thinking about our genetic origin can provide us with a positive psychological resource. Many of our ancestors succeeded in overcoming great adversity: reminding ourselves of human beings who are genetically similar to us can strengthen our sense of identity and self-esteem.
To test his theory Fischer, together with scientists from the Universities of Graz, Munich and Berlin, recruited 80 students who were asked to spend five minutes thinking about their 15th century ancestors, their great-grandparents or a recent trip to the shops. The students subsequently underwent a range of intelligence tests.
The scores of those who had spent five minutes thinking about their ancestors were elevated to 14 out of a maximum 16, compared with 10 out of 16 in the rival group.
Thea is currently a little too shy to take up what her great-grandfather referred to as ‘the ping-pong’ of social conversation. I have suggested to her that when a person answers her question, she could reciprocate with: ‘And … my name’s Thea’.
After we’d finished our pizza on Sunday, Thea asked me for a piece of paper, torn from my notebook. Then, very carefully she wrote her name on the page and silently handed it to Daniele as we were leaving. He pinned it on the L’Artista noticeboard.
Then, it was on to the Turkish supermarket, where Thea and Lyla made the acquaintance of security officer, John and cashier, Nasrin.
Reference:
The Ancestor Effect: Thinking about our Genetic Origin Enhances Intellectual Performance. European Journal of Social Psychology (February 2011)
Peter Fischer, Anne Sauer, Claudia Vogrincic, Silke Weissweiler