I grew up on a diet of 1950s America. Following my father’s return from five years teaching in the US, he remained forever homesick for his adopted country. He would gladly have lived out his days in America where life, he said, was both more gracious and more fun than it was in England.

Occasionally, after a Saturday afternoon soccer game, Mr. O’Connell would take his students for a frappe, a float or an apple pie a la mode at Howard Johnson. This particular story fascinated and frustrated me in equal measure. We had a Wimpy in Folkestone that served Knickerbocker Glories in tall, fluted glasses. Dad never thought to take me there.

Eventually, when I was 12, we went on a family holiday to America. We stayed at a Howard Johnson motel in Pennsylvania where I tasted my first onion rings followed by ice cream which came in 28 different flavours.

One of my father’s students in 1952 was thirteen year-old Douglas Van Dyck Brown, who later returned to the school as a teacher and archivist. Doug retired in 2021, the longest serving member of staff in Groton School’s one hundred and thirty-seven-year history. In 2024, he and I collaborated on writing his memoir.

Doug has eaten breakfast at Tiny’s diner in Ayer, Massachusetts since 1979. He goes there six days a week. On Mondays, when Tiny’s is closed, he drives to the Airport Diner in Shirley for his bacon, egg and pancakes.

Tiny’s opened in 1958 as a donut shop. It has always been a family business, run initially by Anna and Alfred Mauro. Anna was very short, hence the name of the diner. Bill, the Mauros’ son, started working at Tiny’s after he graduated from college in 1972 and took over when his father died in 1982. Today, Bill’s children and grandchildren work in the restaurant.

The first time Doug and I went to Tiny’s together he explained that he never sits in a four-person booth. “I’m generally on my own and so I sit at the counter. I like to be opposite the kitchen where I can catch the waitress’s attention if I need more coffee or the check. There used to be a clock on the wall, so I could watch the time. Before I retired, going to Tiny’s for 45 minutes every day gave me the space and time I needed before school started.”

Doug introduced me to Norman, who, much to my astonishment, has been a Tiny’s customer for even longer than Doug. Norman remembered when the place was the Clam Shack and, before that, the Donut Treat.

During my visits to Groton that year, I quite often went to Tiny’s for supper as well as breakfast. The food is all home-cooked – from the tender and lightly-battered scallops served with coleslaw to the crispy onion rings. The portions are enormous and I would bag up the leftovers and take them back to my apartment for the following day. This also left room for an ice cream sundae at Johnson’s Dairy Bar on the way home.

You can’t find a proper American-style diner in England. Franchises like Five Guys replicate the space but they fail to capture the essence of the American diner experience.

When our nieces and nephews visit from Boston and Chicago, they ask to go to ‘a real English pub’, one with a fireplace, low beams and locally-brewed ale. In return, they will go out of their way to find me a Dairy Queen in America because, as everyone knows, DQ has been making the best root beer floats since 1940.

The Man in the Blue-Striped Shirt by Una Suseli O’Connell

published 2024   reprinted 2025

The playwright Peter Shaffer once made the observation that tragedy is not a conflict between right and wrong, but a conflict between two different kinds of right.

The world is a noisy place and opinions about what’s right and who’s wrong are growing louder.

In these early days of 2026, listening thoughtfully and integrating intentionally has suddenly become a lot more difficult. The people I normally turn to for clarification or relief – op ed journalists like Jonathan Freedland or American comedians like Jimmy Kimmel – are themselves struggling to understand what’s going on. How can they explain the world to us in a way that makes any sense?

I was born in 1959, too young to comprehend the cause and effects of WWII or to have a clear understanding of the Civil Rights Movement. I did know, however, that there were certain people my parents respected and admired, men (and they were mainly men) who spoke unflinchingly and with integrity about God, man and meaning.  They were the public philosophers and theologians of the 20^th century: men like C.S. Lewis, Martin Luther King Jr. and Reinhold Niebuhr.

In the 1930s, Niebuhr, then a pastor in a New England village, wrote a prayer.

“Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.”

The Serenity Prayer was included in the prayer book given to American soldiers on the front lines during WWII and later adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous.

Reinhold Niebuhr was born in Missouri in 1892, the son of a German pastor. He received his degree from Yale Divinity School and was subsequently sent to Bethel Church in Detroit, where he became an outspoken critic of Henry Ford in the days before labour was protected by unions. His congregation (which swelled from 18 families to 600 during the 13 years he was there), consisted of those in management positions at the Ford plant as well as assembly line workers. “An industrial overlord” said Niebuhr, “will not share power with his workers until he is forced to do so by tremendous pressure”. As individuals, he knew his affluent congregation to be good, concerned and altruistic people and yet as a group they appeared selfish and self-interested.

Niebuhr saw religion as a real world issue, not confined to those who attended church or worked in academia. He sought institutional change over the salvation of the individual. He spoke out against President Nixon for his misuse of religion to bless his politics and he expressed regret at President Kennedy’s promiscuity and the thinness of his moral fibre. “By their fruits shall ye know them” he said “and the relevant fruits are charity, proportion and justice.”

Niebuhr often expressed weariness at what he described as the stale debate of atheism versus faith.

“It’s as difficult to get charity out of piety as to get reasonableness out of rationalism. Nothing worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime, therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in our immediate context of history, therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone, therefore we are saved by love.”

In 1952, my father was teaching at a boys’ boarding school in Massachusetts where Christopher, Reinhold’s son, was his advisee. At the end of the year, Reinhold Niebuhr gave Peter a copy of his book The Irony of American History. In writing to thank him, he took the opportunity to ask Niebuhr for advice on how to manage his own religious conflict. This is the reply he received:

“Dear Mr. O’Connell,

I deeply appreciate your letter if for no other reason than it gives me an opportunity to thank you for your great kindness and help to Christopher. I meant my copy of the book to be a token of my gratitude but it is a poor token indeed.

I find as a matter of fact that parents are so deeply indebted to teachers who take an interest in their children that there is no adequate way of expressing gratitude. What you and the School have done for Christopher is of inestimable value to him, and we can never be too grateful.

Perhaps I will have time in June to talk with you about the issues which you raise in your letter, because they have concerned me all of my life, but I have reached rather different conclusions than you have reached.

I believe, for instance, that in a world where, as Pascal said, justice must be enforced by power, the voluntary abnegation of power by a few Christians is not as valuable as the wielding of power “with fear and trembling” in the way that every business man and every Government official must wield it.

Whether on the question of powerlessness or poverty it seems to me that the Christian has to choose between the Monastic-perfectionist principle of goodness and an essentially Protestant one. According to the one he seeks to free himself from the evils of the world but he does not seriously affect the struggle in the world for a tolerable justice and brotherhood.

According to the other, he never escapes guilt because he is involved in all the various forms of guilt in the social life of man, but he regards this as a concomitant of “an ethic of responsibility” in contrast to “an ethic of perfection”.

I know this is a very sketchy way of stating a very ultimate problem with which I have been wrestling, as it were, all my life.

Sincerely yours,

R Niebuhr”

Reinhold Niebuhr was a nuanced, thoughtful and passionate thinker, willing to risk popularity for the sake of integrity. People paid attention to him because he didn’t speak  out of self-interest but from a larger, human perspective. This made him trustworthy. Despite being on an FBI watch list, the US State Department invited Niebuhr to help shape government policy during the Cold War.

In this time, in our time, we are in profound need of Niebuhrs, Tillichs, Lewises and Kings.

Reinhold Niebuhr   June 21^st, 1892 –  June 1^st, 1971

Reference:

Mike Wallace interview with Reinhold Niebuhr, April 27^th, 1958

The Irony of American History by Reinhold Niebuhr, pub. 1952

An American Conscience: The Reinhold Niebuhr Story by Martin Doblmeier, 2017

In May 2001 I attended a conference on trans-generational trauma, truth and reconciliation. People travelled to Germany from all over the world: the United States, China, Argentina, Serbia, Albania, Israel, Palestine and Lebanon.

The fact that the event took place in the Bavarian city of Wuerzburg was not a coincidence. In March 1945 the Royal Air Force dropped 927 tons of explosive and incendiary bombs on Wuerzburg, killing 4,500 people and destroying 85% of the medieval city.

On the third and final day of the conference, I signed up to a talk given by Martin Bormann Jr.

I had no idea what to expect. The room I entered was smaller than I had imagined it would be and not every seat was taken. Bormann’s talk was in German and, unusually, no English translation was provided.

For the first 45 minutes I felt as though I was in a high school history class. I listened to the seventy year-old man plough through a story he must have recounted a hundred times. Physically imposing, with a sonorous voice, his delivery was stilted and dull. I was interested, not in the fall of the Third Reich, but in how the son of Martin Bormann, Hitler’s private secretary, had navigated his life and profoundly difficult fate.

“I once asked my father” he said “What exactly is National Socialism?, to which he replied ‘National Socialism is the will of the Fuehrer.’”

In April 1945 the Nazi academy in the Austrian Alps, where Bormann Jr. was a pupil, closed and “we were told to find our own way home”. The fifteen year-old changed his name to Bergmann and found refuge on a farm where, for two years, he lived with a devout Catholic family.

“Only then did I learn what National Socialism really was” he explained. “Following the release of Belsen, I saw the first pictures in a Salzburg newspaper. I read about the Nuremberg Trials and I saw my father’s name on the list of war criminals.

“How could my father, who I had always experienced as a kind and gentle man, have done these terrible things?”

There was silence in the room. Bormann had made it clear at the beginning of his talk that no questions were off limits.

Still, no one spoke.

He continued. “I asked my foster father What exactly is Catholicism?. He sent me to mass and he told the priest my real name. I read in the bible about deathbed confessions and this gave me hope for my father. I was received into the Catholic Church in May 1946.”

Of Bormann’s nine siblings, all but one converted to Catholicism.

At the age of 28 he was ordained and sent to the newly independent Congo as a missionary. Following a serious car accident in 1969, he was cared for by a Catholic nun.

In 1971 they both renounced their vows and were married.

Bormann subsequently taught theology until his retirement in 1992.

The lecture ended and the room went quiet. I could sense the atmosphere shift. After what seemed like a long time, a man spoke:

“Do you judge your father for what he did?” he asked.

“I don’t judge my father. I leave that to God” Bormann replied. “His political opinions have nothing to do with me. My father as a father was a role model to me. My father as a politician, however, was not.”

“How did you learn to balance these two viewpoints?” another asked.

“My conversion to Catholicism was a significant factor. I learned about forgiveness and the importance of not judging others. It is possible that what my father did at the time was something he felt was right. In hindsight of course it was wrong. We each have different roles. I am a son, a brother, a husband and a teacher.”

I asked him whether he had any children of his own. He replied that his wife was two years older than him and, by the time they got married, it was too late to start a family.

“Why do you think your father was so submissive to Hitler?” a woman asked.

“My father’s father died when he was three years old. He was raised in very modest circumstances by an extremely religious and authoritarian stepfather. In Hitler he found a father-figure as well as a powerful position in society.”

The man sitting next to me spoke.

“How was it possible to know nothing of the atrocities that were being committed around you?”

“Media was very unsophisticated back then.” Bormann explained. “There were no foreign newspapers and German radio was controlled by the Reichstag. We knew about the work camps but we didn’t know that the leaders of those camps were SS officers.”

A couple of months earlier, Bormann had been to Auschwitz. “I walked in the March of the Living alongside Jewish people from across the world” he told us. “I gathered with Israeli students in reconstructed gas chambers and took part in a ceremony of mourning. I was even presented with a peace offering. It was the first time in my life that I had been thanked by Jews” he reflected, somewhat awkwardly.

Recently I came across my notes and an audio tape of the talk. As I listened to the recording again, I thought about how theology had separated the son from the evil that defined his father. It had clearly offered him, his siblings and his mother a place of refuge. I wondered though whether it had also separated him from experiencing the pain, the grief and the rage of losing a man he loved as a father.

I have struggled to translate the title of Bormann’s talk Leben gegen Schatten. Is it ‘Life against the Shadows’ or is it ‘Living in opposition to the Shadow’. The words are ambiguous. I can’t decide which is correct.

I was curious to know whether Bormann was still alive and I put his name into a search engine. In 2011 a former pupil at a boarding school, where he was a priest and teacher in the 1960s, had accused him of rape. Other boys later came forward to report cases of physical violence against them.

Bormann denied any wrongdoing. His early onset dementia resulted in the case against him being dropped. The Catholic Church later provided compensation to the man who came forward to say that he had been raped.

As Ernest Hemingway once said “Being against evil doesn’t make you good. Tonight I was against it and then I was evil myself. I could feel it coming just like a tide ….”

Martin Adolf Bormann Jr. died in 2013 at the age of 82. In those final years, did he reflect on his own rightdoing and wrongdoing ? As he lay on his deathbed, 68 years after the suicide of his father, whose name he so faithfully carried through his life, was he accepting of the judgment he imagined might be his due?

“An act is evil if the individual, at the time of the act itself, considers what he is doing to be evil and does it anyway. Or if he considers an act to be good and doesn’t do it – this too can be considered evil. It is, however, impossible to make a definitive judgment on the state of conscience of an individual.”

Leben gegen Schatten by Martin Bormann Jr. pub. 1996

Reference: Islands in the Stream by Ernest Hemingway, pub. 1970

It was my mother who introduced me to the thrill of abandoned buildings. Her preference was for large houses with glamorous histories, like Encombe, for example, which was a mile from where we lived in Folkestone. Following several landslides in the 1950s, the house became uninhabitable.

Mum would instruct dad to detour into the hills above Sandgate so she (and later I) could determine how the former villa was faring and how much more of the central staircase had collapsed since our last visit.

Dad always stayed in the car. He warned my mother that she was breaking and entering, thereby risking arrest. Later his concerns focussed on our physical safety: what if we were hit, even killed, by falling plaster and brickwork?.

But the magic of Encombe, an Italianate villa with arched loggias and uninterrupted views across the English Channel, proved too compelling to resist.

It finally burned to the ground in 1978.

Last month, on a family holiday in the Ticino, I was delighted to discover that the Grand Hotel Locarno, which opened in 1876 and closed in 2005, was directly opposite where we were staying. The pink neoclassical building, which lies in extensive gardens and overlooks Lago Maggiore, hosted the Peace Conference of Locarno in 1925. Renovation work is underway and the hotel will reopen in 2027.

I took my chances at the end of the day – after the construction workers had left and before the gates were locked for the night – to wander around the hotel’s former wine cellars; all dripping arches, stone steps and wrought-iron balustrades.

The Grand Hotel is famous for its murano glass chandelier, the largest of its kind in Europe. Astonishingly, when the hotel closed twenty years ago, the chandelier was left behind. An online news clip from 2024 shows a group of lab-coated, hard-hatted experts with clip boards, carefully dismantling the undisturbed work of art, piece by glass piece, to be sent away and restored.

It is this aspect of Switzerland’s abandoned hotels that I find most baffling. Why are there no looters and scavengers? Where are the souvenir hunters? In England empty buildings are quickly stripped of anything of value, including the lead and tiles on the roof. A priceless murano chandelier would have disappeared before the heat in the walls had had a chance to escape.

A remarkable example of a sleeping beauty is the Royal Park Hotel Bellevue in Kandersteg in the Bernese Oberland. Built in 1905, it featured as the smallest hotel in the directory of ‘Small Luxury Hotels of the World’. I first noticed the chalet-style building during a weeklong visit to Kandersteg in 2018. The hotel sign was overgrown and the parking lot was empty, which struck me as unusual for the month of August. There were no barriers, no ‘Keep Out’ signs and none of the windows were boarded up. No harm in trying the front door, then.

My husband pointed out that the Swiss arrested people for misdemeanours less serious than trespassing. I knew he was right, but I couldn’t help myself and I promised him I wouldn’t go upstairs.

By the pool, which has uninterrupted mountain views, stood a row of white loungers and greek urns. The water was brown. Dead leaves lay scattered on the deck. The staircase to the upper floors looked safe but a lack of electricity in the building and my promise to Dan kept me from climbing the stairs to the bedrooms.

In 2011, the Royal Park Hotel Bellevue closed its doors citing a decline in the number of visitors. The building lay empty for several years and was then bought by Daniel Filliger, an architect from Spiez.

I asked a restaurant owner in the village what plans there were for the hotel. None, he replied. The Royal Park, along with 164 other buildings in Kandersteg, lies in the direct path of the Spitze Stei, an unstable rock formation that risks burying the village in 18 million cubic meters of rock and stone. As a result of global warming the permafrost is constantly expanding and contracting inside the broken rock, creating additional flood risks.

There are weekly reports on the state of the Spitze Stei. During the summer months it can move up to 50 cms a day. The owners of buildings that fall within the so-called red zone may not extend, renovate or alter their properties in any way. For a village that relies almost entirely on tourism, this restriction carries heavy consequences. *

In February 2025, Daniel Filliger gave permission for freelance photographer Thomas Hodel to spend a day inside the hotel.** (see link below)

The building has lain empty for almost 15 years and yet the whole place is intact, as if new guests are expected at any moment. At Reception a wooden cabinet holds old-style room keys. Only three of the 31 are missing. In the dining room lies tarnished silver cutlery and behind the bar, sit half-empty bottles of whisky and Armagnac. In the laundry room there are sheets, waiting to be washed. The rooms are full of French and Italian-style furniture, chandeliers, paintings and satin bed covers, stretched immaculately across gilded bed frames.

What is to become of it all?

I suppose the people of Kandersteg have more pressing concerns than worrying about the contents of an old hotel. It seems wasteful though. Clearly none of the objects are considered to be of value to their owners, current or previous. No sale or auction is planned and you can’t just wander in and pocket an old room key because, well, that would be stealing.

Switzerland’s most famous sleeping beauty is the Hotel Belvedere. It sits on a hairpin bend on the Furka Pass and featured in the James Bond film Goldfinger.

In 1964 the Belvedere stood right at the edge of the glacier and visitors came from far and wide to see the ice fields from their bedroom windows. As a result of rising temperatures, however, the glacier has retreated so far uphill that it can no longer be seen from the hotel. Up to five acres of the Rhone glacier are now covered in UV-resistant thermal blankets in an attempt to slow the ice melt.

Local residents say the practice is working, but, it’s too late for the Belvedere, which closed its doors in 2015.

*On August 8^th, 2026 three thousand tons of rock broke loose from the Spitze Stei and fell into the valley above Kandersteg. There were no injuries. The event was classified as “very small”.

**https://www.bernerzeitung.ch/kandersteg-ein-blick-in-das-verlassene-fuenfsternehotel-584102481649

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s mince pie season …

It took me a while to convert my Swiss-raised daughters to the thick sweet gloop of candied fruit in a pastry case, but, by the time they were in their early teens, we were a dedicated trio of enthusiasts.

I once carried six boxes of mince pies back to Switzerland to share with my class of thirteen year-olds at the Steiner School. They were not only revolted but baffled that English people would choose to eat something so very strange at Christmas time.

In our family there used to be an unwritten rule that no ‘mint spies’ (as Lucy called them) could be eaten before December 1^st. This served to make the first ‘spy’ a much anticipated event and added to its overall deliciousness. Last year, however, we broke the tradition, having agreed that mince pie season is brief and we needed to ‘seize the day’.

In recent years we have all three been in collaborative pursuit of the best pie money can buy. Personally, I am not a fan of the fully-lidded version – too much pastry and no opportunity to examine the filling. Although I’m up for a little variation – a new spice, extra zest, some crushed nuts – I avoid contrived flavours like chocolate and orange, salted caramel or, this year’s outlandish deep-fried mince pie.

Our straw poll produced a clear winner – Prêt a Manger.

The Prêt piecrust is buttery and rich and sits in a brown waxed paper cup. I imagine a Victorian kitchen somewhere full of bonnets and aprons and silver spoons measuring candied goop into pastry cases. The signature star on the top always looks a little bent out of shape, as if a bunch of pre-school children with cookie cutters had punched them out.  Then there’s the snow shower of powder sugar that makes the Prêt spy so unique.

On Tuesday morning I went into the Epsom branch of Prêt in search of our first mince pies of the year.

I could see only four in the cabinet.

‘No worries’, said the friendly barista, ‘I have more’.

He pulled down a cardboard box from a high shelf and removed several large plastic trays of bald-looking pies.

‘How many do you want?’ he enquired.

‘But, where’s the snow?’ I mumbled.

‘No worries’, he said again, plunging a sieve into a large plastic bag of powder sugar and sprinkling it … rather carelessly I thought … over the mince pies.

I can report that they are as delicious as they ever were and I was able to share them, fresh out of their plastic trays and recently dusted, with Polly and Lucy that same afternoon.

The Bernese village of Adelboden sits on a terrace at the end of a long valley. It is surrounded on three sides by mountains and overlooks a deep gorge. For more than 600 years the only way in and out of the village was over the mountains. Life was hard, people were poor and by 1900 the population was in decline.

In 1902 Adelboden had a stroke of great good fortune when Henry Lunn, a Methodist minister from Lincolnshire, arrived in the village. Lunn had made several visits to Grindelwald as part of the annual English church leaders’ conference and, in the winter of 1902/03, he brought 400 visitors to Adelboden.

He subsequently founded the Alpine Ski Club, which marked the beginning of the British trend to combine health with winter sports.

The Swiss of course didn’t need an Englishman to teach them how to ski – they used their skiis all the time in order to travel from A to B. However, the concept of climbing a mountain and skiing down it, purely for amusement, was not something that had occurred to them.

Twenty years later, in the neighbouring village of Muerren, Henry Lunn’s son, Arnold organised the first downhill slalom race and, in 1931, the first world championships. He was knighted for his services to British skiing and Anglo-Swiss relations.

Early visitors to the Swiss Alps were predominantly members of the British aristocracy with time on their hands and money in their pockets. As downhill skiing grew in popularity, the well-to-do guests needed appropriate accommodation and this prompted the construction of what are today known as the Belle Epoque hotels.

The Nevada Palace in Adelboden was built by the Richert brothers in 1911 for CHF 200,000 and advertised itself as “The Glorious Winter-Beauty. The Fountain of Eternal Youth”. The seven-storey hotel boasted a ‘resort doctor’ and an outdoor swimming pool, designed to offer guests a Mediterranean experience (sand was imported from Marseille) alongside magnificent mountain views. During the winter, outdoor areas were transformed into skating rinks.

In the mid 1930s my mother and her friends went skiing in Adelboden on day trips from their hometown in Biel. My parents later moved to the village for a winter season with the intention of offering combined courses in English and skiing. Unfortunately the only applicant was an English lord whose interest lay in skiing rather than learning English.

I was christened in the 14^th century church and, every year until I left home, my family spent Christmas in Adelboden.

The outbreak of WWII ended the era of the grand hotels and visitors disappeared practically overnight. In 1943 the government announced that all foreign troops, captured on Swiss soil, were to be interned.  Adelboden served as the first internment facility and, over the next two years, more than five hundred US airmen were sent to live at the Nevada Palace.

Apart from a night-time curfew, the Americans were free to walk the hillsides, attend church services and visit neighbouring villages. The men installed a woodworking shop and a dark room in the cellars of the Palace. They formed their own ice hockey team, played baseball, took up skiing and learnt German. Every morning they met for coffee at the Alpenrose cafe where they charmed the Adelbodener women by calling them ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Darling’.

As serving members of the US government, the men continued to receive military pay which, much to the delight of local shopkeepers, they spent on watches and sports equipment. Markus Klopfenstein sold so many cameras to the Americans that his supplier, Zeiss suspected he was trading in the black market and sent a representative to investigate.

Ernst Oester of Oester Sport recalled that the young American GIs declined to use his changing rooms, preferring to strip down to their underwear in the shop. “They wore jockeys, which were unknown in Switzerland at the time and they stood there, bare-chested and hairy-legged. It was too much for one farmer’s wife who was so shocked by what she saw that she walked backwards out of the shop.”

The internees formed a swing band and invited the Adelbodners to dances in the Palace ballroom. At Christmas they arranged a screening of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves for the children. Nobody in Adelboden had ever seen a motion picture before; neither had they tasted chewing gum or used a biro.

With the aid of dictionaries, love affairs blossomed and some of the local girls married airmen. In 1946, young women like Irma McLaughlin and Doris Scott followed their husbands to America in what came to be known as the ‘Bride Ships’. *

The Nevada Palace never fully regained its former glory. WWII bankrupted the Richert  brothers. Henry died and Jacques ended his days as a waiter in an Interlaken cafe.

In 1996 a major fire destroyed the hotel’s upper floors. Charred and abandoned, it was finally torn down in 2001. There was talk of building a family hotel, in keeping with the character of the village. Instead the land was sold to The Pearl of Kuwait Real Estate Group, which went bankrupt a few years later.

The Nevada Palace Hotel has gone but the views across the valley, to the Engstligenalp and the Wildstrubel, are still there, just as they were in the 13^th century when the first settlers arrived.

Reference:

American internees in Adelboden, Schweizer Radio und Fernsehen (SRF Dok)1991

Adelboden, Berner Oberland Ed. Klopfenstein, 1992

Bieler Tagblatt, ‘Geblieben sind Ruinen’, August 2001

* In the summer of 2026, a play, written by Ueli Bichsel The Singing Pilots – A Village is Turned Upside Down was performed at the Freilichtspiele in the town of Frutigen, near Adelboden. The six-week run was sold out.

Last night I watched a documentary about the life of Canadian actor, John Candy*. All I really knew about Candy was that he was a large man, who died at the age of forty-three. However, Trains, Planes and Automobiles is one of my favourite films so I decided to give it a go.

Candy was raised Catholic and, on one of many return visits to his former high school, he said to the assembled students “My success is simply rooted in the values, discipline and respect for others that I was taught at Neil McNeil Catholic High School.”

In September Thea started at St. Peter’s Catholic Primary School, where both her father and her uncle were pupils. Last week we received an invitation to Grandparents’ Day. Two hundred and ten grandparents showed up, posing an unanticipated challenge and creating a scramble for extra chairs. It all got resolved and we were amply compensated with home-made cake.

The head teacher began with a prayer for grandparents – meaning us, but also our own grandparents, who may have played an important role in our lives as we were growing up.

Thea was proud and pleased as punch to walk us around her classroom. She showed us the lion’s head, which is her allocated spot at carpet time, the outside play area with real rabbits, the reading corner and the altar space. She pointed to the three prayers they say each day – the Morning Prayer, the Lunchtime Prayer and the End of Day Prayer. “I can’t remember all the words” she explained “and I can’t read them yet either.”

The O’Connells have not been practicing Catholics for four generations, but I find myself deeply pleased that Thea and her sister, Lyla will be educated at a Catholic school. I appreciate the prayers, not all the words necessarily, but the idea of being truly faithful to something, not every now and then, but every day.

Children, who will one day become grownups, are encouraged to develop qualities such as sharing, caring, gratitude, truthfulness  and integrity.

John Candy will have had other defining influences in his life but clearly “the values, the discipline and respect for others” that he was taught during his years at Neil McNeil Catholic High School in Toronto, informed who he became, how others saw him and how they remember him, thirty-one years after he died.

*John Candy: I Like Me, 2025

Blog – The Banished Children of Adam and Eve, June 12^th, 2022

Einstein is credited as saying “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

In 1965 my father gave me a copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Unusually, there is no dedication. Instead, in wobbly handwriting are the words “Sunday May 23. Suseli from Papi.”

Dad gave me a lot of books as I was growing up and he often wrote something pithy and poetic on the fly leaf. His words went over my head but I never asked him to explain them because, well, I didn’t want to appear stupid. Sixty years on and that book still sits on my bookshelf. Printed in Czechoslovakia and illustrated by the German Expressionist painter, Josef Scharl, it contains 210 stories and concludes with a folkloristic commentary by Joseph Campbell.

There is nothing about Scharl’s illustrations that seem appropriate for a six-year old. The faces of kings, trolls, devils and witches are terrifying and the anguished expressions of fishermen, bridegrooms, sisters and servants, imply a world of worry and trouble.

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm were born in Kassel, Germany in the late eighteenth century and their stories are collected from local farmers, weavers, tailors and grandmothers. The Grimm brothers sought not beauty but accuracy – “from mouth to ear to page”.

I was once asked about my favourite childhood fairy tale. The one you choose, apparently, is a reflection of how you see your own life.

I was obsessed by The Singing Ringing Tree, (based on Hurleburlebutz by the Brothers Grimm). It was first shown on the BBC in 1964 as part of the “Tales from Europe” series. Das Singende, Klingende Bauemchen was an East German production and the German dialogue would play simultaneously with the voice of the English narrator. This conflicting jumble of voices and language only served to amplify the sinister quality of the characters, who all looked as though they had walked off an Otto Dix painting. Even the good-prince-transformed-into-a-bear-by-the-wicked-dwarf looked weird and scary. But … it was impossible to look away. The whole thing was utterly compelling.

My parents were still at work at 4.00 in the afternoon and so I would watch The Singing Ringing Tree by myself. I used to worry that one day they’d walk in, switch off the television and forbid me from watching it ever again.

Joseph Campbell writes about the visionary rather than the descriptive quality of fairy stories. “The ageless tale of human destiny, recognised, for all its cannibal horrors, as a marvellous, wild, monstrous, irrational and unnatural wondertale. This is the story our spirit asks for; this is the story we receive.”

Einstein declared that the gift of fantasy meant more to him that any talent for abstract, positive thinking.

2025/2022

In 1982 I graduated from the University of Reading and began a six month internship with Herman Hall, an educational psychologist in New York. Herman worked in private schools in the Carnegie Hill district of Manhattan. Having subsequently spent several years in inner-city schools in London, it struck me that, whether financially privileged or socially deprived, children often face comparable challenges and present with similar difficulties in the classroom.

Herman believed that every child had unique talents and that none were without promise. “Grown-ups are always telling kids that they need to work harder” he used to say. “What kids really need to do is to work smarter, but they can’t do that if they don’t know what their problems are.”

His premise was that all children want to succeed. “Kids either can’t or won’t do what’s required of them.” In other words, something beyond their understanding or control is holding them back. He was non-judgmental and never lectured a child. Instead he asked open-ended questions that made them think or provided an opportunity for deeper conversation: ‘So, your Mom and Dad aren’t getting along too well at the moment?’ or ‘Your Dad’s a busy man and is away a lot?’. He always allowed the child to confirm or refute his observations. There was something about naming the underlying suffering, as opposed to talking about a poorly-written essay or a low Maths score, that generated a rush of gratitude and a release of suppressed emotions. Young people felt recognised and understood.

I experienced Herman as unfailingly kind and curious, with a deep respect for children and an ardent desire to help those most at risk of being marginalised, either academically or socially.

He also taught me the importance of never judging parents, no matter how calamitous their parenting style appeared to be. The most important skill I learnt from watching him at work was to state facts rather than voice opinions; to recognise that the other person had a point of view and a set of skills that could complement and contribute towards a good solution. He approached everyone with the understanding that they were being the best possible version of themselves they knew how to be, and that setting himself up as an adversary was unhelpful. He recognised the need to win the trust of parents and teachers so they could all work together to improve the life of the child. By accentuating the positive, by listening and asking questions, Herman Hall subtly managed to lead the child, the teacher and the parents to the bigger picture.

He believed strongly that praise was best offered intermittently. If you applaud children for everything they do, they feel they have to be the best and the brightest and, each time they fall short, their anxiety levels increase. This was the model in my own family – either you were a success at something or you were a failure.

Herman was clearly very proud of his two adult sons, Rick and Doug, but he neither overly praised nor excessively criticised them, choosing instead to recognise their individual strengths and weaknesses and his own contribution to the development of their personalities.

On my first day at St. Bernard’s School, Herman sat me down in his office and said he was going to talk to me ‘like a Dutch uncle’. I had no idea what that meant but I have never forgotten what he said to me: “You can please some of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time.” Herman himself, although he was respected, appreciated and loved by many, was also criticised by those who resented the idea that someone who had not gone to Harvard, did not have a PhD and was unpublished, could maintain such consistent success over so many years.

There was a world of difference between Herman Hall’s own background and the elite schools and Ivy League colleges he advised for more than 40 years. He was born in 1917 in Springfield, Massachusetts. Following the death of his parents when he was a small child, Herman was sent to The New England Home for Little Wanderers, an orphanage in Boston. He liked to joke that he was ‘just a barefoot farm boy’ but these early experiences clearly shaped his gentle, sensitive and intuitive value system.

During his high school years Herman worked as a typesetter at night to save money in order to go to college. Forced to drop out of Clark University when he could no longer pay the fees, he took a job as a moulder in a foundry. The men he worked alongside were skilled craftsmen but most of them were uneducated and, at the age of 25, Herman was invited to head the union. When America entered WWII in 1941, Herman enlisted in the Navy where he took the medical and psychological histories of Marines returning from duty in the South Pacific.

After the war, he worked as a travelling salesman for Blue Cross. He returned to college and earned a BSc and a Masters in Education, became a teacher and subsequently moved into a career as a guidance counsellor.

I returned to England at the end of my internship in the spring of 1983. I had been offered a position at Rye Country Day School in Connecticut but, having consulted an immigration lawyer, I was told that the chances of my getting a visa were slim.

Herman and I stayed in touch. We would meet for lunch at his favourite diner in New York or at his home in White Plains. Sometimes I would fly to France when he was visiting Paris or Aix-en-Provence to consult with students at the American University.

In September 2001, shortly after returning from a trip to Europe, Herman was hospitalised for a heart condition. He was eighty-four years old, still working in schools and in the process of being interviewed for a book about his life.

On the morning of September 11^th, when two passenger planes hit the Twin Towers, his son Rick, who worked in the South Tower as a senior Vice President at the Aon Corporation, was killed. One hundred and seventy-five Aon employees died alongside Rick that morning. Herman died just eight days later on September 19^th, 2001.

His widow wrote to me: “Keep Herman in your heart, Suseli, and remember that he had a truly happy life with his family and friends and chosen profession, which he loved.”

The Herman and Richard Hall Scholarship Fund for graduates of White Plains High School was set up in 2002. In the same year, Aon established an education fund to provide post-secondary school financial assistance to the dependent children of Aon employees killed in the attacks on the World Trade Centre. Herman would have been pleased to know that his grandson’s college education was secure and that Christopher would never have to work nights or drop out of college because he couldn’t afford to pay his school fees.

Today is the 24^th anniversary of Herman’s death and he remains an enduring presence in my life. He taught me to look for the sweet spot, even in those who are most oppositional. He taught me to work in the best interests of the child, which included listening to and respecting anxious parents. He was endlessly patient and generous with his time. He liked to go to sleep early but, as his son, Doug recalls, “he would get out of bed to talk to a concerned parent on the phone if there was an emergency and, he would do so without complaint.”

Herman managed to simplify rather than magnify problems and I remember feeling immensely grateful for his nuanced understanding of my own inner struggles. In all the years I knew him I never felt judged or criticised.

In his final years he would sometimes say that he had lost faith in the educational system but he never lost faith in young people. In the words of Joan McMenamin, Head of the Nightingale Bamford School between 1971 and 1992.

“I will always think of that dear man with gratitude, both for what he did for Nightingale and for me, but above all for the lessons he kept before all of us of what education is and can do when practiced by a person of Herman’s intellect and kindness. Our schools are richer for what he taught us, and he blessed us in all he helped us to be.”

Herman W. Hall     April 6^th, 1917 – September 19, 2001

Richard B. Hall       April 30^th, 1952 – September 11^th, 2001

Capturing the Essence by James Shapiro  pub. 2004

The Absent Prince by Una Suseli O’Connell  pub. 2020

Thea has an enduring interest in names. She knows the name of the postman (both her own and ours), the Tesco delivery man, the bin man, the waitress at the local cafe and, since, Sunday, the names of the Italian waiters at L’Artista in Letchworth.

I am ashamed to admit that Dan and I have been eating at L’Artista for almost two decades and we know the names of just three people who work there – Roberto, Adam and Daniele. As Thea asked her question there was initial puzzlement, followed by surprise and subsequently delight. I was struck by how sharing something as personal as your name with an interested stranger changes the dynamic of the exchange between you. Suddenly and all at once, Moussa and Nino and Nick became more than just familiar faces in a public space.

Thanks to our four-year-old granddaughter, we now know the names of not only the waiters at L’Artista, but also of the chef and the barman (Francesco and Gerardo). There’s even a Thea who works there. Unfortunately Sunday is her day off.

Two-year-old Lyla has begun to imitate her sister. If a stranger catches her interest, she will often ask  ‘What’s her name?’

Our names are important. They are given to us by our parents and they belong to us throughout our lives. And beyond.

Thea and Lyla have a great many relatives – aunts, uncles and cousins, across three generations. Thea can tell you all their names and assemble them in the correct family group. She also knows the names of my parents and grandparents/her great and great-great grandparents.

In February 2011, The Ancestor Effect by Professor Peter Fischer was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology. Fischer proposed that thinking about our genetic origin can provide us with a positive psychological resource. Many of our ancestors succeeded in overcoming great adversity: reminding ourselves of human beings who are genetically similar to us can strengthen our sense of identity and self-esteem.

To test his theory Fischer, together with scientists from the Universities of Graz, Munich and Berlin, recruited 80 students who were asked to spend five minutes thinking about their 15^th century ancestors, their great-grandparents or a recent trip to the shops. The students subsequently underwent a range of intelligence tests.

The scores of those who had spent five minutes thinking about their ancestors were elevated to 14 out of a maximum 16, compared with 10 out of 16 in the rival group.

Thea is currently a little too shy to take up what her great-grandfather referred to as ‘the ping-pong’ of social conversation. I have suggested to her that when a person answers her question, she could reciprocate with: ‘And … my name’s Thea’.

After we’d finished our pizza on Sunday, Thea asked me for a piece of paper, torn from my notebook. Then, very carefully she wrote her name on the page and silently handed it to Daniele as we were leaving. He pinned it on the L’Artista noticeboard.

Then, it was on to the Turkish supermarket, where Thea and Lyla made the acquaintance of security officer, John and cashier, Nasrin.

Reference:

The Ancestor Effect: Thinking about our Genetic Origin Enhances Intellectual Performance. European Journal of Social Psychology (February 2011)

Peter Fischer, Anne Sauer, Claudia Vogrincic, Silke Weissweiler